


Faith of Heart

by Lucifer_BringerofLight



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:14:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28009044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucifer_BringerofLight/pseuds/Lucifer_BringerofLight
Summary: Being as brilliant as Belana Sullivan means being easily bored. To escape this boredom Belana joins the Atlantis Expedition and faces a multiude of problems,  reaching from intelectual to social.
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

Being called to Elizabeth’s office sometimes felt like being called to the headmaster’s office, John Sheppard thought as he made his way there. It always made him wonder what he’d done now and what trouble he’d gotten himself into. He knocked on the frame of the open glass door, behind which Elizabeth sat on her computer, looking up know.

“Ah, John, please sit. We need to talk.”

That never sounded good.

“You gonna break up with me now?”

Elizabeth didn’t even creak a smile, only the corners of her mouth twitched a little.

“I’ve just spoken with General O’Neill. He told me that the next time the Daedalus comes, she’ll bring some new personnel.”

“That sounds like good news.”

“Wait till you hear the rest. Among that personnel is a scientist, Dr Belana Sullivan.”

“What about her?”

“Richard Woolsey personally recommended her.”

“What? Since when has the IOA a say in that?”

“I don’t know, but apparently they do. But it gets better. He also requested her to join your team.”

“Not gonna happen.”

“I’m sorry, John, but General O’Neill agreed on both. She will be on your team until the General says otherwise.”

Angry Sheppard growled, but there was nothing he could do. Once she was here, he could request her to get off the team.

“Wait, you don’t think she’s gonna report on us to Woolsey.”

“The thought crossed my mind.”

“Great, so I’ll have a spy on my team, I’ll know that we’ll be reported on and there’s nothing I can do about it? Just great.”

While John was sulking, a few hundred lightyears away on earth Belana was busy checking her equipment one last time. she had already checked it twice today, but she did it again, nevertheless. This was the only indication she gave off how truly nervous she was about the upcoming adventure, aside from that she appeared to be perfectly calm. Which was about to change as Richard Woolsey walked in.

“Hello Belle. Are you done packing?”

“I’ve been done two days ago.”

Woolsey smiled, but Belana didn’t see that, she hadn’t even looked up from her equipment when he had walked in.

“Do you have everything you need.”

“Yes.”

“I still remember how nervous I was before I was beamed on a ship the first time. And we didn’t even make any real trip. But you’ll travel to another galaxy. Three weeks on a ship. Aren’t you nervous?”

“Not really.”

“Are you sure you don’t need anything?”

“What do you want, father?!”

Now she finally looked up and at the man in front of her. No one would ever guess they were related. She was a slim, but tall redhead with pale skin, freckles and crazy green eyes, he was a few inches smaller than her, not as slim, brunet and almost bald. The only thing she had inherited from him was his intelligence. They looked nothing alike and she was glad about it. He was an American through and through, she had grown up in Ireland with her mom and went to university in England when she was 13. When she was old enough to join the Air Corps, she did and became a pilot. Only recently she’d left active duty and focused on science. Then she had heard about the Stargate and about Atlantis. A city in another galaxy build by humanoids, called the Ancients, who inhabited earth over a million years ago. How could she not take that chance? So she had applied and had actually gotten a place on the team. But as she later learned it was not only due to her various degrees and other achievements but because her father had recommended her. Normal people would probably be happy about that, or at least not mad, but normal people saw their dads more often than on Christmas and their birthdays, and even that not every year.

“I just want to make sure you are okay.”

“I am. Thanks for checking. Bye.”

“Belana please. Don’t be like that.”

“Sorry. I appreciate you checking on me. I’ll be fine, I can handle myself. I’ve gone on suicide missions before. And I’m not dead yet.”

“Very comforting.”

“I had no intention to comfort you. You know the risks this job brings. If you didn’t want me to do it you shouldn’t have recommended me.”

“I did what I thought was right.”

“You’ve gotten involved in things that don’t concern you!”

“You are my daughter! How doesn’t that concern me?”

“Oh, suddenly you care about what I do? Quite late, don’t you think?”

“I always made sure you got everything you needed. Who do you think paid for your university?”

“Oh yes, because a 10-year-old genius would never get a scholarship. We never even touched the money you send. It’s rotting on a bank account. I never wanted it and we never needed it. Mom was perfectly able to provide for us!”

“I…”

“I still have a lot to do, father, if you would please excuse me. We leave in an hour and I promised I’d call mom before that.”

Resigned, he nodded and left with a weary sigh. If Belana hadn’t been so angry at him she might have felt bad for him. Instead, she just shook her head, finished her inventory and sat down at her desk. She knew she shouldn’t be angry at her father, he really meant well, but she couldn’t forgive him that he left her mom alone with an infant and some money, okay a considerable amount of money, made up for it, or that getting her a position he wanted did. With a deep sigh she opened her laptop and video called her mom, who picked up after just two rings.

‘Hello love.’

“Hey Ma. How are you?”

‘I’m fine, but I’m not about to go on a secret mission to god knows where.’

“Don’t worry Ma, I’ll be fine.”

Her mom smiled at Belana, but didn’t seem too reassured. At least, she changed the topic.

‘Have you spoken to your Athair?’

“Yes, just now. He seriously thinks sending us money gives him the right to interfere with my life.”

‘He did get you the job, didn’t he?’

“I didn’t want him to get me the job. I want this job because I am good enough for it.”

‘I know love, but Richard wants to be part of your life, too.’

“We’ll, he should have thought about that before he left.”

‘What happened between your Athair and me was a long time ago. And he left because he thought it was the best for you. He loves you very much. He always tried to take care of you.’

“Don’t defend him. He doesn’t deserve it!”

Belle shook her head trying to calm down. After that they talked for some more time, but didn’t mention her father anymore. Then it was time to go.

Airmen came and brought her equipment into the gate room from where it would be beamed on board of the Daedalus. Now her lab was almost empty, only her laptop, which she now packed away too, and her bags, were left.

“Ah, Dr Sullivan, you’re ready?”

General O’Neill, former leader of the SGC and former CO of SG1, a team that had repeatedly saved the world showed up next to her, smiling.

“As ready as I will ever be.”

“Oh, don’t worry, you’ll do just fine. You’ll be among the best and brightest of this world.”

He chuckled as he thought about it, then added,

“You’ll fit right in.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

“And just so you know, Woolsey had nothing to do with you being chosen for this position. If I wouldn’t believe you are qualified for it you wouldn’t even get near the Stargate, so don’t worry about that either.”

“Thank you, Sir, but how…”

“I came by to check on you earlier and overheard you talking to your mother.”

“Oh.”

“I didn’t hear much, just that you were mad at him.”

Belana nodded unsure what else to say and she was glad when they finally reached Gate room, where the other scientists and soldiers, that would join the expedition with her, were already waiting for O’Neill. When he entered, everyone turned to him. Belle quickly fell in line with the rest, holding her bad tightly.

“I know you’re all waiting for some profound words, but I suck at being profound, so, good luck out there and don’t screw up.”

In the past months they all had been introduced to the Stargate program and had been trained for off-world mission. During that time and during the selection, O’Neill had closely examined all of them, but her especially. Quickly she had realised that this has been because of Woolsey’s recommendation, but hadn’t figured that her being on the team meant that he actually approved of her. Standing here now, with all her colleagues, in front of General O’Neill, with this typical smug smile on his face, she knew what O’Neill had know within less then a week, that she would fit right in. And that knowledge calmed her down. Finally, she’d found a place where she could be herself, fully and completely herself. She wouldn’t have to be either the soldier or the scientists. No, for the first time in her life, she could be both. And so, she was beamed onboard of the Daedalus with a smile on her lips.


	2. Chapter 2

The following three week were rather boring, but at least Belana had time to read up on all the mission reports to get an overview over the different societies that would expect her. And then it was time. Like before, the lab equipment was handled by airmen and she only had to take care of her personal belongings. Next to Belana was Alicia Wallace, she was an engineer like Bella, just a better one, one of the best, in fact, and an IT technician too. Before joining the Atlantis Expedition, she had worked for the MI5. And in the past weeks, she and Bella had grown friends.

“Nervous?”

“You should know me better than that Ally.”

“I forgot, Dr Balls of Titanium is never nervous about anything.”

Together they joined the rest of the group, who were eagerly waiting to be beamed down. Colonel Caldwell, the commander of the Daedalus, joined them too, nodding slightly, before giving the order to beam down.

The city of Atlantis was one of the most fascination things Belle had ever seen. They were beamed into the Gate room, which was located in the main tower. The room was at least three stories hight, if not more. Second story were balconies on the edge of the room and on these balconies were the control room and Dr Weir’s office. Dr Weir was the leader of the expedition and a renowned diplomat. Belle had studied several of her treaties and every time had been impressed by her. And she was really looking forward to finally meeting Dr Weir. But before that could happen, they were greeted by their superiors, which in her case was a man named Colonel Sheppard, leader of the alpha team, which she was to join. She hadn’t actually applied for this, but had gotten the position anyways, most certainly because of her father’s interference.

“Dr Sullivan?”

“Yes, Sir.”

Out of reflex, she saluted him, which made Alicia, who was still standing next to her, giggle.

“You’re a scientist, Belle, you don’t have to salute.”

Grimacing, she lowered her hand. For the first week working with and being interviewed by General O’Neill, she’d the same problem.

“Sorry, Sir. Old habits die hard, I guess.”

Sheppards only reaction was a displeased growl.

“Get your stuff”

With a last glance at Alicia, Belle followed her grumpy commander, who led her to a transporter.

“Pick a room.”

They had arrived in another tower and on a floor, that seemed to be one of several housing units.

“Anyone?”

“They’re all empty, now pick.”

Raising an eyebrow, Bella randomly pointed at one.

“That one.”

With a cold expression, Sheppard nodded and noted her choice down on a sheet next to the transporter. Then, without turning back to her, he told her to unpack und be in the mess hall in half an hour, and then left. How lovely. She’d gotten a grumpy, cold CO. Just what she needed. Sighing, she stepped into her new room.

Apparently, she had made a good choice. The room as on the edge of the tower, which meant she had a wall full of windows with a wonderful view over parts of the city and the ocean which it lay in. And the room was huge, like seriously giant. Her first apartment would have easily fit in here, her first collage room probably twice. The room was separated in two parts, the larger one was pretty much a living room, with a lounge and even a desk and several plant pots, but without plants. On the outer wall, what Belle had considered windows at the first examination, she now found to be a glass door, leading to a balcony. The second part of the room, which was severed by a wall, reaching a little higher than her hip, was a bedroom. With a drawer, a large double bed and bedside table. At the far end of the room as another door that, as Belle discovered, lead to a spacious bathroom. Jackpot.

With a satisfied grin, Bella put her cloths into the drawer and placed her laptop on the desk. The rest she could do later. Now she would try to find the mess hall. From schematics, she knew it was located in the west pier, but she didn’t really know where she was right now. Luckily, as she entered the transporter the control panel light up, telling her in which transporter she was and thus were she was.

Technically, most of the technology here could only be activated by people with a special gene, but Dr Beckett, the leading physician on this expedition had created a gene therapy enabling almost everyone to use them. Belana hadn’t needed it, apparently, she had been born with this gene.

Without any problems Belle made her way to the mess hall, where she found Sheppard in a heated discussion with four other people, one of which Belle recognized as Dr Weir. When she came closer the discussion immediately died off, telling Bella that they had been talking about her. They all looked at each other, but didn’t say anything. After a moment of silence, the second woman stood up, threw a sharp glance at the others and bowing her head

“Hello, Dr Sullivan. My name is Teyla Emmagan, this is Dr Rodney McKay, Ronon Dex and Dr Elizabeth Weir.”

The introduced only nodded briefly, glaring at her coldly. How absolutely lovely. But she could easily imagine why they treated her like that. hey probably didn’t like Richard much and his recommendation made her his associate.

“I’ve read a lot about you, Teyla, and its pleasure to finally meet you.”

“You read about me?”

“Yes, well, not you specifically. General O’Neill was so kind to give us access to the mission reports and some other files.”

“Huh.”

By now, Weir seemed to remember her manners again, because she too got up and shook her hand.

“Welcome to Atlantis.”

“Thanks. You know, my politics prof is a huge fan of yours. She still sends me everything she finds from you. Every treaty you ever did, every speech you gave. But you being here explains why she didn’t send me anything new for the last two years.”

“Oh… uhm.”

“Never thought you’d have fans?”

Sheppard grinned at her, while the rest was chuckling.

“Not really. I’m honoured. But I didn’t know you studied politics.”

“I have a master’s in it.”

She just shrugged her shoulders, she had studied so many things, it didn’t really matter to her, she just really liked knowledge.

“I thought you have a doctor in physics.”

“I do. I made a bachelor’s in physics, a master in astrophysics and then my doctor. But…”

“But you were still bored?”

“Not exactly, I was just mostly too young to join the Air Corps.”

“How old exactly where you when you got your doctor’s degree?”

“thirteen. So, I still had four more years to occupy myself.”

That surprised all of them and for a moment they forgot to glare at her. But sadly, they soon remembered.

This went on for over a month. Bella didn’t mind too much. She spent most of the time they weren’t on missions in her lab anyways, had lunch there and dinner usually either with one of the two colleagues she shared the lab with or with Alicia. When she neither eat nor worked she was in her rooms, reading or in the gym training. Teyla had agreed to teach her the Athosian fighting style. She was really the one actually nice to her. Sure, Elizabeth was polite, and Ronon didn’t seem to talk to anyone much, but both Sheppard and McKay barely ever talked to her or even looked at her. And when she suggested something on a mission, she wasn’t taken seriously.


	3. Chapter 3

Which had this time led to them being captured. She had repeatedly told Sheppard that there was something odd about this society and that they should leave. But Sheppard had told her to stop fussing. And now, now she sat in a stone cell in a dark and smelly cellar. Next to her was Sheppard, where the rest were, they didn’t know. for the past hour they Sheppard had tried to get out of there with some very ridicules ideas and repeatedly shut down Bella trying to help him, which had led to her sitting with her back leaning on the wall, watching him kicking the door.

“Aren’t you tried yet?”

“At least I’m doing something to get us out of here!”

“Oh yes, because kicking a concrete wall or a steel door is gonna get us out of here!”

“You’ve got better ideas?”

“A hell lot of them, yes!”

“Oh, sure you do. because you’re oh so brilliant.”

“As a matter of fact, I am. I am brilliant. But most importantly, I’m an engineer. And with sheer force you’re never going to get through this door.”

“And why didn’t you say that earlier?! You want us to die in here?”

Enraged, Bella jumped up and now was only centimetres away from Sheppard.

“I did tell you. I’ve been trying to tell you since the moment we got in here, but have you been listening? No. You have been telling me to shut up for over an hour now while they are doing god knows what to the others!”

“I’m going to shoot you!”

“Listen, Colonel, I know you don’t like me, and I know you don’t want me on your team. I know that, okay! You made that quite clear. And I am well aware that this is because of Dr Woolsey requested it.”

“Damn right it is!”

“I never asked to be on your team. And I didn’t ask Richard to put me on it. He just did it. Hell, if it were up to me, I’d be working in my lab until you assign me a team. But it’s not! And it’s not up to you either! Richard wanted it that way, so Richard got it that way. Nothing to be done about that. But you know as well as I do that I wouldn’t have gotten anywhere near the Stargate if General O’Neill didn’t think I was good enough.”

Bella took a step back and closed her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath to calm down before continuing with less screaming.

“I don’t ask you to like me, and I certainly don’t ask you to like that I’m in your team. What I ask is that you trust General O’Neill’s decision and that you respect me. All I want right now is to get out of this cell, find Ronon, Teyla and McKay and get off this damn planet.”

Sheppard’s anger and dislike for Belle had been dissolving during the last few sentences and now was gone. All that was left was an overwhelming sense of shame and guilt. He’d been an arrogant brat to her for almost a month now, had dismissed and ignored her whenever he could, and all the while not once considered how she felt about it and that she might not be what he thought her to be.

“Now, if you mind listening to me, I have an idea how to get out of here before we’re killed.”

“I’m all ears.”

With a short nod, Bella turned towards the door, examining it closely.

“See the bolts here?”

“Yes.”

“I’m gonna need your belt.”

That came unexpected, so unexpected that John didn’t know what to say. He inhaled, opened his mouth but had nothing to say. Belle just smiled at him as charmingly as she could. Which made him shut his mouth again and pull the belt off his pants.

“Thank you.”

“Huh, why do you need my belt?”

“I need the metal piece here.”

Belle wrapped the fabric part of the belt around her hand, grabbing the metal part tightly. Then she knelt down in front of the door Sheppard couldn’t see what she was doing, but after some minutes of grunting and cursing, she turned to him with a victorious smile, throwing him a metal pin.

“Wait is that…?”

“The hinge. Yes.”

Another cursing minutes later, Belle held the second one in her hand, giving Sheppard back his belt.

“Now you should be able to open the door.”

And really, with a little effort, Sheppard managed to pull it open far enough for both of them to squeeze though.

“No guards. Why are there no guards.”

“You rather have guards here?”

“No, but it’s odd.”

“They probably just think no one gets out of their cells. Now come. There’s another cell down the corridor.”

Quietly, they made their way to the next cell.

“And what know? You need my belt again?”

“No thanks, you can keep your pants on. I’ll just pick the lock.”

From the outside, it was easily doable to pick the lock with the pin from the hinge. Belle needed less than two minutes before she pushed the door open. Following a feeling, she stepped aside and pulled Sheppard with the as she did. Wisely so. Both Ronon and Teyla jumped out, ready to attack whoever locked them in there.

“Easy, it’s us. You okay?”

A collective nod was the answer.

“Then let’s go.”

“But we need our stuff.”

“Found it.”

While Sheppard had checked that his team was alright, Bella had looked around a little and found a table next to the stairs with all their weapons and other belongings on it.

“Well, someone that carless doesn’t deserve to hold someone prisoner.”

“Yeah, let’s not get giddy yet.”

But the only resistance they met were two totally confused guards, who were easily overcome. Soon, they were out of the village and finally able to slow down.

“How did you break out of your cell.”

“Well, Belana used my belt to break open the door.”

“She did what now?”

Rodney sounded as confused as Sheppard had when Belle had asked for the belt. Ronon, too didn’t seem to follow, but Teyla simply smiled

“You seem to get a long a lot better now.”

“Yeah, we… talked. If you want to call it that.”

Belle chuckled softly, “I would call it screaming at each other, but same difference.”

“Why’d you scream at each other?”

“Unresolved issues and bottled-up resentment.”

Now it was on Sheppard to chuckle.

“That’s a way to put it… Damn it, Belana, your hands!”

Now that hr pointed it out, the others noticed it too. Belana’s hands were bloody and one had a dark red weal on it. The fingers where covered in cuts from where blood was still dripping

“Oh, that.”

She tried to shrug it off because she didn’t want them to worry about it, that’s why she hadn’t said anything.

“Did that happened when you unhinged the door?”

Sheppard seriously wondered how he hadn’t noticed that before. He stopped to pull the first aid kid out off his backpack. Reluctantly, Belle stopped too.

“It’s nothing really. Let’s just get back to Atlantis.”

“We’ll walk for at least another half hour. I’m gonna take care of that, now. Hands!”

With a small sigh, she held out her hands to him. Carefully as to not hurt her, Sheppard began wrapping bandages around them. Once she was taken care of to his satisfaction, they went on their way back home.


	4. Chapter 4

They all were relieved to be back in Atlantis, where Weir already awaited them, together with a med team.

“You’re late.”

“We were captured and then broke out and here we are.”

Before anyone else could say another word, Beckett and his team were all over them, making sure everyone was okay. Which Belle didn’t see much of, because Beckett immediately huddled her off to the infirmary to treat her hands.

“What happened?”

“Colonel Sheppard’s belt happened.”

The moment she said it she realised that it sounded strange.

“What now?”

“I used the belt buckle as a sort of lever for the door hinges. Which is how I cut my fingers. And the weal is from the belt itself, which I had wrapped around my hand to create enough energy.”

“Oh, I understand. Well, the cuts should heal rather quickly, but the weal worries me. The skin is burned badly.”

“I’ll just keep my hands wrapped for some time and stay home. No action, only science.”

“That’d be good.”

Beckett gave her a salve for both the weal and the cuts and some bandages, so she could take care of her hands herself, then let her go. Belle went to Weir’s office, where she expected her team to be and she was right. They were debriefing, but as soon as she came in, they all fell silent. It reminded her a little of her first day on Atlantis, but this time, it was Sheppard who got up.

“How’re your hands?”

“Gonna be fine. No missions for about a week, but fine. I’ll just sit the next few missions out. You wanted me off the team anyways.”

“About that…”

“It’s okay, Colonel. Like I said, I understand.”

“You two better discuss that in private.”

“Perhaps without screaming at each other.”

It was Teyla who suggested that, with a smug smile on her face. Weir raised an eyebrow,

“Screaming?”

“Oh, apparently, they spent the imprisoned time screaming at each other.”

“Not the entire time.”

“Explained why they let you go that easily.”

Belle first looked at her hands, then at Weir, finally, she raised her hands,

“You call that easy?”

“I didn’t mean…”

“Whatever, if no one minds, I’ll go to my room now.”

Nobody minded and so Belle turned around and walked away. Sheppard followed her.

“We should… maybe… talk about what happened.”

“The screaming or the applied physics?”

“Screaming.”

Both of them nodded and then fell silent.

“Anyways… I suppose I should start with I am sorry.”

“That’s a good start.”

“Yes.”

This conversation was very slow and somewhat awkward. Neither of them wanted to look at the other and neither knew what to say.

“We… I was… mean to you. Sorry.”

“I was placed on your team against your will, so…”

“Doesn’t make it better.”

“No…”

“You know…”

“Yeah?”

Awkward!

“We just thought… you know… that you work for Woolsey… you know spying on us.”

Oh. That Belle hadn’t seen coming.

“Why would you think that?”

“Well… because he personally put you on my team and… you’re getting mails from him every week.”

“You’re checking my mail?!”

“No! I mean… kinda. It’s just… It just stood out…”

That was probably a fair point.

“Well, I might get mails from him every week, but I usually don’t answer them. You might have noticed that too.”

“I hadn’t. Why not? Sorry, none of my business.”

By now they had reached Belle’s quarters. She stepped in and motioned Sheppard that he might come in too, which he did. He had been about to say more but upon seeing the room stopped.

“Wow. Your room is huge! I’ve seen several rooms in this floor, none are that big.”

“Guess I have to thank you for that.”

“What?”

“If you hadn’t been so hostile towards me, I wouldn’t just randomly picked one. Might not have taken this one.”

“I’m sorry. I was an ass. God, I even requested O’Neill to get you off my team. Several times.”

He again looked guilty, as he continued examining the room and found the balcony door.

“You’ve got a balcony? How cool is that!”

Sheppard had by now turned to the pictures Belle had hanging over her desk.

“That your family? They look nice. And your mom looks a lot like you. Same red hair.”

“They are. My niece writes me a letter every week. My sister collected them… I just yesterday got an email with all the letters from the past month from my entire family.”

“Must be nice having such a great family.”

“It wasn’t always like that. The guy in the pictures, Martin, is my stepdad. He was always a better dad than my real dad… Richard never really did anything for me…”

“Richard? As is Richard Woolsey?!”

“Jup. Thus, the mails and the recommendation. He thinks that way he can make up for leaving when I was an infant.”

“Richard Woolsey is your father? Now that explains… just about everything.”

“Does, doesn’t it.”

Trying to hid his shock, Sheppard pointed back at the pictures.

“You’ve got a lot of siblings.”

“Well, the little girl obviously is my niece and the guy holding her is my brother-in-law, but yeah, I do have four siblings.”

“I only have one brother and that’s more than enough.”

“I take it you family isn’t the happiest one?”

“All happy families are alike, all unhappy families are unhappy in their own way.” Did he just quote Tolstoy on her? But he didn’t even react to it any further, just shrugged his shoulders and continued,

“They’re happy, I guess. I just haven’t seen them since I joined the Air Force.”

“Don’t your parents miss you?”

“My mom is dead. And my father… we never got along…”

“I’m sorry. What about your brother?”

“Dave’s… a lot like my father. Anyways, let’s not talk about that.”

Belle agreed. She wondered a little how they had possibly went from hostile to talking about family within just a few hours.

“Yeah, anyways… I’ll leave now.”

And he did, leaving Belle behind somewhat startled. She wasn’t really sure what had happened here. But instead of trying to figure it out she sat down on her desk. Today had been a strange day. A very strange day indeed. Opening her laptop, Bella turned her attention away from Sheppard and to her family’s letters. Although the SGC forwarded the letters once a week Bella’s family only send one mail per months with the collected letters of all of them. That’s what they had agreed on before she’d left. Yesterday, she hadn’t even had the time to finish her mother’s letter. That’s what she did now, but gave up soon. Sheppard and his behaviour kept distracting her. So instead of reading their letters, Bella decided to write one herself. She would answer anyway so she could as well do it now. The letter she wrote was to Brittney, her oldest sister. Technically, Brit was not really her sister. She was Martin’s daughter from his first wife, who’d died during childbirth. Only a year younger than Belle, they had immediately connected when their parents begun dating. Ever since then Brit had been her best friend, Belle had even been her maid of honour when Brittney had married at age 21 and had become godmother to her niece Holly, who now was three.

And Brittney was exactly the person she could write a mail about how very confusing she found Sheppard. If she hadn’t been in another galaxy, she’d called her. Seeing as that wasn’t possible, a latter had to be enough. Though, as she soon figured out, typing was rather complicated and somewhat painful with cuts all over her fingers.

Eventually, Belle gave up and went to the mess hall. She decided to get some food. There she met Sheppard again, who stood up as soon as he saw her. Apparently, he felt as confused about today as she did. The sudden switch from hostile to intimate, from screaming at each other to talking about their families.

“Join me, please.”

He gestured to the chair opposite to him. A little uncertain, she agreed and sat down.

“How are your hands.”

“Hurting. Mainly hurting. How are you?”

“Fine…”

“That’s good.”

Both nodded awkwardly, falling silent for a moment.

“So…”

“Will the planet be off the list?”

“Marked as aggressive.”

“Good… good.”

Belle hadn’t had a diner that awkward since she’d introduced her first boyfriend to her parents. And there was no actual reason for this dinner to be awkward, but there was simply nothing to say.

“Dr Sullivan… how about… we start again… from the very beginning?”

“With pleasure.”

“Well… Hi. I’m John Sheppard.”

“I’m Belana Sullivan. Most people call me Belle.”

“Nice to meet you, Belle, call me John.”

Not knowing what to say, Belle decided to just bring a ridiculous pickup line.

“You come here often, John?”

That was it. Both burst into laughter.

“I do. You?”

“Well, not sure yet. My weird boss wants me off his team.”

“Oh, he sounds like a moron. And if he doesn’t appreciate you, he’s an idiot too.”

John grinned like a madman, while trying desperately not to laugh out loud again.

“He certainly is a moron, but I don’t think he’s an idiot.”

“Well, thanks, but I’m not so sure about that.”

But she was. He was a moron, no doubt, but just the fact that he felt bad for it and tried to make the situation better made clear that he was not an idiot.

“So, what do you do in your free time?”

“Free time? What’s that? … No. I read, or play gulf.”

“Gulf? Here?”

“Jup. Well, I’ll show you later.”

“Looking forward to that.”

“And what do you do?”

“Research, mainly. I either read or work.”

“Sounds…”

“Boring?”

“Jup.”

“Well, and Teyla teaches me how Athosians fight.”

“Yeah, Teyla’s been the only one actually nice to you, hasn’t she?”

Belle just shrugged it off, there was nothing to say about that. Sure, Teyla was the only one accepting her nonbiased, who had actually got to know her.

“Don’t worry about that.”

“Easy for you to say.”

But instead of continuing with this topic in the knowledge that they would get nowhere, John decided to show her where he gulfed here. They went to a pier, where Sheppard had put to patches of artificial grass.

“So, you just kick gulf balls into the ocean and try to throw them as far as possible?”

“Pretty much. Wanna try?”

“Sure. But I have to warn you, not that common in rural Ireland.”

Belle took the gulf club John held out for her.

“Just swing and hit.”

She did, and the little ball actually flew quite a bit, but of course John threw his further.

“How long do you play?”

“I started when I was six.”

“Six? Geez, how rich were you?”

“What, why?”

“Gulf’s a rich people’s game. If you play as a kid, you’d have to be crazy rich.”

The soft, uncertain shrug John gave was enough of an answer. He was crazy rich, or, well, his dad was.

“Wow. Well, I’m glad you didn’t turn out a snob, but only a moron.”

“Yeah. Me too, I think.”

“You can work on being less of a moron, being less of a snob, I don’t think so.”

“So, you think there’s still hope for me?”

Belle took the time to seriously consider the question. Before today she might have said no, but he seemed to be trying really hard to make up for his past behaviour. But was that enough? Then she saw look on his face, hopeful, anxious and ashamed.

“Yes. I do.”


	5. Chapter 5

After that day things got better. McKay was still as arrogant as always and Ronon as silent, but John was a lot nicer, made more jokes and was generally in a better mood. Even Elizabeth dropped her politeness and started being friendly. After a very boring week, which she spent working as good as she could with her injured hands, Beckett allowed her to go on missions again. By then, the cuts had healed enough to only itch but not hurt anymore. Just the weal was still there. It hurt less, but it was rather ugly to look at.

Today, she was finally allowed to go on a mission again. Like every second day, except for the past week, Teyla and Belle had meet for a little training’s session in the gym and now met up again for breakfast, freshly showered.

“You are getting better. You almost beat me today.”

“I didn’t. Didn’t even get close, but thanks.”

“But you are getting better.”

That much she was willing to believe. But she doubted she’d get anywhere near beating Teyla anytime soon. Teyla was just too damn good. Then again, as long as Teyla was on her side, she was glad about it. She just never wanted to fight Teyla in a real fight, or Ronon for that matter. He was a fighting machine.

“How is your hand?”

“It’s fine, Teyla.”

Teyla had been asking that several times the last hour and Belle didn’t want to admit that it still hurt. For the training, she had bandaged the weal again. She didn’t want to make it worse. Also, a white bandage looked better than a dark read weal. Though she probably had to get used to that, even if it would fade, it would most likely leave behind a scar.

Some time after they had sat down, John joined them.

“Morning Ladies. Had a nice time beating each other up?”

“Teyla did most of the beating, I did most of the being beaten up, But besides that, yes.”

“Belana fought well. She has been practicing.”

John made a grimace and sat down. He got his ass handed to him regularly, whether he fought with Teyla or Ronon, because even though he was not a bad fighter, he usually didn’t practice.

“Well, that’s good, now I have three kick ass fighters in my team.”

“And you have me.”

Rodney sat down next to him, his tray loaded with food, as always.

“Of course, Rodney, and you.”

“You make us all feel safer with just being here.”

“Ha-ha. I’ll remind you next time I save our asses.”

“We do have Belana now. Last time, she was the one to save our asses.”

Ronon, though mostly quiet, had a surprising sense of humour and he liked to mock his friends. Something Rodney could rarely ever handle. Right now, he was sulking.

“Personally, I still think, two heads are better than one. Don’t worry Rodney, next time, I let you ruin your hands to save the day.”

That got him out of his sulking quickly, as arrogant as he was as much of a hypochondriac was he. And the thought of having his hands injured and being unable to work at a computer was even worse than being mocked by his friends.

“I leave that to you, thank you very much.”

“As you wish. Though I would like to not be captured today. How about that?”

“Now that’s the right attitude.”

Sheppard was in a rather good mood today. He enjoyed watching his friends bicker and was glad to see how much Belle was involved in the group now and that she didn’t seem to resent them for their previous behaviour. But Belle was just not a resentful person. Especially not when she understood their motives. And that she did.

“Where are we going today anyway?”

“X3-P0.”

“Isn’t that C3-P0?”

“As far as I remember it, C3-P0 was not a planet.”

“True.”

Both Teyla and Ronon looked at them lost, but chose not to ask. Probably had asked about something before that they later regrated.

An hour later, the team was getting ready to leave. They were standing in the Gateroom, Elizabeth watching from the balcony.

“Good luck, come back on time, just once, will you?”

“Ay, ay Captain”

With a smug grin, John stepped through the event horizon first, the rest followed. The planet on the other side was dry, warm and sandy.

“Well, that looks an awful lot like Tatooine, doesn’t it?”

“Then we should better watch out for Sandpeople and Jawas.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I have never heard about a planet called Tatooine or of Sandpeople or Jawas.”

The group turned to face each other, neither Teyla nor Ronon had any idea about what they were talking about. But how would they? Rodney was the first to answer.

“Oh, that’s from Star Wars. Rarely popular movies on earth. Good ones.”

“No one showed you Star Wars yet?”

John scratched his head, wondering why he hadn’t forced them to watch the movies before. Then he turned back to walking. Not that there seemed to be much on this planet to walk towards.

“We have enough war.”

“Then you should watch Star Trek. You’re gonna like Star Trek.”

John laughed, “Should have known you like Star Trek.”

“Of course I like Star Trek. It’s science and progress and social justice. C’mon, the world we live in is dystopian enough, I like watching a little more hopeful things.”

“So, you don’t like Star Wars?”

“Well, it does seem to have power hungry evil men building a giant death star to dominate the universe as a reoccurring theme, doesn’t it? I mean, Leia is awesome. She’s badass.”

“That’s true. Leia is quite something.”

“Yeah, she inherited all the good stuff. Luke, on the other hand is…”

“You don’t like Luke?”

“I don’t like Luke. I hate Luke, very, very much! I… I have no words for it. All I can say is that… Luke is… I really don’t like him.”

“Wow. So passionate about that?”

“I think Luke is great.”

“Of course you think that, McKay. I didn’t expect anything else.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Easy kids.”

Belle could hear him chuckle,

“Let me guess, your favourite is … Han Solo.”

“Well how would you think that?”

It was obvious that she had been right. Who else could it have been? A stunning and brilliant pilot, with a big mouth, who got the girl in the end. So the guy John would like best.

“Just intuition. I mean, it was either that or Jabba the Hutt. You know, there’s a certain resemblance.”

“Ouch, that hurt!”

“I know, Jabba.”

“And who are you? Leia?”

“Well, yeah. Of course. I’m stubborn, brilliant, and beautiful. And… I have an annoying brother! Two of them, actually, but yeah now… technicalities.”

“Sure, Leia. I still think I’m more Han Solo than Jabba. Or Boba Fet, he was cool too!”

“I have no idea what you are talking about.”

Now, both John and Belle turned to Ronon, then turned back to each other, and started grinning.

“Chewbacca.”

Belle was a little surprised about the unison answer, they and McKay started to laugh, Ronon just rolled her eyes, while Teyla still tried to make some sense of it.

After that, they fell silent for some time. The sun was burning brightly from the sky, baking them in their uniforms. McKay was soaked in sweat, he looked like he was about to liquidise. But the rest of them, too, were sweating, even Ronon.

“How long do we have to suffer here?”

“We’ve been on this planets for less than twenty minutes, McKay.”

“There’s nothing here!”

“You don’t know that.”

“He might be right, though. From what we see, the desert goes on for miles. If this planet is inhabitant, they’ve probably never seen the Gate. But I doubt it is.”

“So we go home?”

Faced with an uncooperative team, John resigned,

“Alright, Chewy, we go home.”

Ronon growled a little about the nickname, but Bella had the feeling it wasn’t the first time he was called that. The rest of them were relieved. Even more so, when they finally reached the Gate.

“Well then, let’s leave Tatooine and better not come back.”

“My pleasure.”

On the other hand of the Gate, a wonderfully cool Gateroom expected them, and in it, Elizabeth, surprised by their early return.

“Back already?”

“You told us not to be later. We aren’t.”

“Is someone hurt? What happened?”

“Desert happened. It’s a desert. Desert everywhere.” 

With a grin, Belle turned toward the Colonel, who currently tried to get as many cloths as possible off him without ending up naked, though she suspected even that he would prefer over staying in those hot and sweaty cloths any longer.

“What do you think, can we actually call that planet Tatooine?”

“You know, why not. Rodney, can you rename planets in the database?”

“Sure.”

“Well, there you go. X3-P0 is now officially called Tatooine.”

“Am I supposed to ask? Or just shake my head an tell you to take a shower?”

“The latter one.”

Elizabeth sighed, but then shrugged her shoulders.

“Well then, off you go, take a shower. You look like you need it.”

Oh hell yes, she did. It was just too damn hot. Belle never liked summers or sunbathing. Heat just wasn’t her thing. The cold, on the other hand, ice and snow, that was hers. Winter was great, building snowmen, making snow angles, Christmas and New Year, snow… the thoughts of all these things alone cooled her down a little. The cold shower that followed did the rest.


	6. Chapter 6

By the time Bella got to the mess hall for the post mission dinner, her body temperature was back to normal and she didn’t feel like a piece of roast simmering in its own sauce anymore. And to her pleasant surprise, she had no sunburns either. Good, one burn was more than enough. Once her hand had healed, she could deal with a new burn, but until then, she really didn’t need another one.

“Hey, where’s the rest?”

The only one of her teammates sitting in the mess was Ronon. He looked up when she talked to him, but only shrugged his shoulders as answer. So, Belle sat down with a cup of coffee and they waited in silence for some time, until Ronon spoke up.

“What is Christmas?”

“What?”

The question had come so unexpected that Belle needed a few seconds to even understand it, let alone find an answer.

“Christmas. People have been talking about Christmas for some time now. Saying it was soon. What is Christmas?”

“Oh…”

Belle chuckled softly as she was searching for a proper explanation.

“Christmas is… well, it used to be a religious celebration. It still is for some, I guess… but for the most people it is a holiday of love and giving and peace…. You see, on earth, people decorate their homes for Christmas, they get a fir tree and put lights on it, and ornaments and stuff like that.”

“What purpose does this tree serve.”

“No purpose. It just looks pretty. And you put the presents under it.”

“There are presents?”

“Yes. That’s the most fun part of Christmas. You give presents to friends and family. I always loved it as a child. Still do, actually. Christmas is one of my favourite holidays. But you can’t really explain it, I guess. It’s different wherever you grow up.”

“How was it where you grew up?”

“In Ireland? Well, lot’s of people are still very religious there. Especially in rural Ireland. But… when I was young, my mom would buy a Christmas tree on the first of December. We would decorate it together on the Sunday after the eights, because there’s this superstition, that if you decorate it earlier, it brings bad luck.”

“With what did you decorate the trees?”

“Glass figurines, and candles, figurines made of straw, candy, little present. Many things, really. But no matter what was on the tree, on top of it was always an angel. And we made an advent wrath out of holy, ivy and fir branches. And there are four candles on it, and you light the first on the fourth Sunday before Christmas Eve, and one big candle is put in a window and lit when it gets dark.”

“And when is this Christmas Eve?”

“On 24th of December. And on that day, the whole family comes together. And there’s a big Christmas dinner. It’s great fun. Of course, in Ireland, you go to church on Christmas Eve to the midnight mess.”

“You go to church at midnight?”

“Not me. When I was small, my mom took me to the earlier mess, before the dinner. When I was older, I didn’t attend the mess anymore. My parents still do, and some of my siblings too. But I never really believed in god, I only went to church to do my mom a favour.”

“That was nice of you.”

It had also been a traditional part of Christmas and her mom had always been so happy when Belle had come home from England over the holidays, so Belle had went to church with her.

“And, the presents, some people believe, mostly children, believe that Santa brings them, and that he puts them under the tree during the night. And then you open them on Christmas morning. My siblings and I made a competition out of it who could get up the earliest without setting an alarm.”

“Who won?”

“Seamus, most of the time. He just is a morning person.”

“This all sounds like good fun. I can see why people here are looking forward to it.”

So could Belle, but she also wondered. If Ronon hadn’t heard known what Christmas was so far, that meant Atlantis hadn’t celebrated the past two Christmases. A depressing thought. But it also gave her an idea.

“Excuse me for a sec, will you?”

Ronon hadn’t yet answered when Belle left.

As she had expected, Elizabeth was in her office.

“Dr Sullivan. What can I do for you.”

“I just had a … strange conversation with Ronon. He told me, he doesn’t know what Christmas is.”

“Okay?”

Weir had no idea where Belle was going with that.

“Which made me wonder. Haven’t you been celebration Christmas since you’re here?”

“We haven’t. No.”

“Well, I thought so. And I also thought that this was a shame. And that we should change that.”

“What are you suggesting?”

“Isn’t that obvious? We’ll have a big Christmas party this year. With a tree in the mess hall, and a Christmas dinner, and presents under the tree and… you know, Christmas!”

“I don’t know what to say to this.”

“How about yes?”

“Okay. Yes. If you’ll plan that.”

“Sure. It’s barely December yet. We have plenty of time left. It’s gonna be great. I need you to do just one thing. The Daedalus will leave earth in about a week and be here Christmas day. Everyone should get the opportunity to order gifts if they want.”

“I’ll let them know.”

“Thank you. And, of course, I have to go to the mainland to get a tree. Though, I think I should get it off-world. Probably better. We want a big one, don’t we.”

“Whatever you say. I leave that all up to you.”

“Thanks. You won’t regret it.”

“I hope so.”

With a bright smile, Belle left the office again, going straight to work. There was lots to plan.


	7. Chapter 7

First thing she did was going back to the mess hall. By now, the rest of the team was there too, chatting and laughing. When Belle came in, they looked up.

“There you are! What took you so long.”

“I had a little chat with Dr Weir, actually.”

“About?”

“Christmas, of course.”

No one knew what to make of that, and so they just watched Belle sit down, curiously waiting for her to explain.

“So, Christmas?”

“Yes. I’ve been told you haven’t celebrated Christmas the last two years.”

“Not really, no. Why, what do you plan?”

“Christmas, of course.”

“You said that before. What do you mean with that.”

“I mean that we’ll have a Christmas party this year. With a tree and an advent wreath, and decorating the mess and a Christmas eve dinner and presents on Christmas morning. You know, Christmas!”

“You mean a real Christmas like when we were kids?”

“Yes. Weir is talking to O’Neill to arrange for Christmas presents’ transport. We have permission to get trees and what else we need off-world. I’ll have to talk to O’Neill, too. It’s a lot to plan, but its gonna be worth it.”

“So, we’ll gonna go get a tree?”

John eyes were shining like the eyes of a little kid, it was adorable. Even Rodney seemed exited.

“Yes, we are. I suggest we take one of the botanists with us. I guess I’ll ask Katie. She was helpful finding plants for my room. I’m sure she knows where we can find what we’re looking for.”

“I’ll ask her.”

Right, Katie was Rodney’s girlfriend and he was always happy for an excuse to go see her.

“All right, I’ll make a list of plants we need. If she doesn’t know where to get it, the next best thing will do.”

With a grin, Belle got up. She loved Christmas and she loved decoration for it. This December would be a wonderful one, she just knew it. But right now, she had to make a list of what was to do. So she left the mess, but she didn’t leave on her own. John followed her.

“You need help planning?”

“Are you volunteering?”

“Oh, why not? Yes, I am.”

A little surprised she turned her head so she could see him. He was now walking next to her, smiling, when he saw she was looking at him, he shrugged his shoulders.

“I don’t know when I last enjoyed Christmas dinner. But… perhaps after this Christmas I will.”

“I will make sure you do. This will be great.”

John nodded slightly, a soft smile on his lips and a shimmer in his eyes. He was looking forward to this Christmas. More than he had for years.

“So, what do we need?”

By now they had reach Belle’s lab, where she grabbed her tablet, opening a file that she labelled ‘nollag.’ But before she could write anything down, John took it out of her hands. When he saw the file’s name he looked up at Belle, grinning and raising an eyebrow.

“What does that even mean?”

“That’s the Irish word for Christmas.”

“I thought Irish people spoke English, just like the rest of Great Britain.”

“My dear John, Ireland is not part of the Untied Kingdom, and damn proud about that. What you are thinking about was Northern Ireland. They was a very bloody civil war to get away from us.”

“I know that. I just meant… I’m not gonna get out of this one, am I?”

“Unlikely. But so you know, Ireland has it’s own language. It’s called Gaelic and it is the official language. But whatever, where were we?”

“We were talking about what we need.”

“Right. We need… a tree, no… we need one big tree for mess, one even bigger one for the gate room, for the atria, we need smaller ones for the ones on each, that makes four small ones.”

“So six in total.”

John nodded slightly, typing that down.

“What else?”

“Candles. Large candles. And holly and ivy, to make a wreath out of it. I think, one wreath in the mess will be enough. We need ornaments.”

“We could ask O’Neill to send us some…”

“Or we could use what we have here. Like, we make our own.”

“Or we could do that. Sounds great.”

“Food. We need lot’s of food. We should hang a list at the mess hall for everyone to write down what they want for Christmas dinner and the most popular things we ask O’Neill to send us, if we can’t get ourselves.”

“When do you want to make those special ornaments?”

“Well, first we need to get the trees. I’d say, we get them tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow it is.”

So far, Belle had been walking around her lab while thinking, but now she stopped and looked at John.

“Are you going to agree with all I say or are you going to stop me eventually?”

“I might stop you when you decide to paint the city in red, green and gold.”

“That’s how far you’d let me go?”

“You’re so cute excited. I’m certainly not gonna ruin that.”

“There’s only very little that can ruin my Christmas mood. I managed to keep it up the last twenty-five years of my life, even my father couldn’t ruin it. Don’t worry, certainly won’t.”

“that’s oddly reassuring.”

“It is, isn’t it? So, are we missing anything?”

“Presents.”

“Of course. But I trust we can all do that on our own.”

“Probably. Then I don’t know anything we might be missing.”

“Fantastic.”

With that, Belle took back her tablet, smiling brightly at John. This was going to be legendary. Smiling back just as brightly, John wished her a good night and left.

“Mistletoe!”

Slightly surprised, John turned around.

“What?”

“Mistletoe! We forgot mistletoe! It’s an important part of Norse culture and we have several Scandinavian members. And poinsettia. It’s such a beautiful plant. Though bitchy.”

John, still a little confused, took up the tablet again, nodded and began typing.

“Mistletoe for the Scandinavians, got it. What was the other one?”

“Poinsettia.”

“Right, beautiful and bitchy. Why is it bitchy?”

“Because it dies. No matter what you do. it loses all the leaves, and it looks pathetic when it does. I once managed to keep one alive for eleven months. I was really proud about that and then it died. Just liked that!”

“Okay. Bitchy plant is on the list.”

“Good. You know anything else?”

“We need cookies.”

“Of course, how could I forget cookies? Okay. I think we can get everything we need from other planets. We should have the ingredients anyways. I’d say, first and third advent is baking, and second advent is making ornaments and decorating. I’ll clear this with Elizabeth and see if we can get the advent Sundays off.”

Still smiling, John put the tablet back down and wished her a good night, for the second time. this time he actually left. Belle remained in her lab for some more time, thinking it all over and making a list on whom to get what as a present.

The next morning, Sheppard’s team, Lorne’s team and three botanists, including Katie, assembled in the Gateroom.

“Quite an impressive team you got there, Dr Sullivan.”

“Well, we do need a lot of trees. And someone has to carry them.”

Weir laughed and judging by the sparkle in her eyes she would have loved to go with them.

“Have fun, kids.”

“Oh, we will.”

And really, looking at the assembled people, Belle was reminded of when she was young and her family went to buy a tree. A bunch of happy and excited children. Oh, this was going to be so fun.

Usually, John was the first to go through the Gate, today, Belle was right next to him.

“This is your mission, you lead, we’ll follow.”

“I’ll remember that later.”

John chuckled, but didn’t say anything else. Then they went through.

The planet on the other side looked like a winter wonderland. A beautiful forest. The trees were covered with snow. The sun made it glitter like a thousand and the sky was clear blue.

“Wow. Did you pick this for the occasion or is this the only planet that got what we need?”

Belle turned to Katie, who was just as enchanted by the scene as everyone else.

“Oh, well, it actually is the only one. But it’s beautiful. I didn’t know it would be.”

“Still, excellent choice. Now let’s go. We have a trees to find.”

The next hour or so, they spent walking through the forest, pointing at trees that would be perfect, but then finding an even better one. But eventually, they found six trees in the appropriate size, and had enough ivy and holly to make a wreath big enough for the mess and some pinecones in several sizes for decoration. Lorne, at some point, had brought some mistletoe, grinning like a madman, said it would be funny to have some of those hanging around in the mess and the atria. He had been so exited about the idea, that neither Belle nor John had had the heart to tell him that it had been on the list anyways. The rest of the team found it hilarious, just Teyla and Ronon didn’t understand it, but Belle had promised them that they would answer all their questions at dinner later. And they had plenty of questions. Finally, when they had everything, they retuned to Atlantis where Alicia already expected them, together with Weir she greeted the tree hunters.

“You look like a group of kids coming home after spending all day playing in the snow.”

“I see no difference. John and I actually build a snowman and Lorne somehow managed to make a snow bear.”

“I hope someone took pictures.”

“Plenty of them, yes.”

“I made a snow angel!”

Actually, Ronon had made several snow angels, after Lorne had introduced him to it. He had also helped John and Belle build their snowman.

“Oh, I wish I had seen that! Now, the trees, Belle, show me the trees.”

As soon as Alicia had heard about the trees, she had volunteered to build stands for the trees. Her entire team had decided to join her and so the now presented six stands, which she then fitted the trees into. And soon, six trees decorated Atlantis and Lorne had hung mistletoe at whatever places pleased him. Belle had just handed him the entire bush of the plant and told him to go have fun. She had taken the remaining plants and now sat in the mess, together with the rest of her team and Alicia. The others watched her as she made the wreath.

“So, what is this wreath about?”

“Well, you put four candles on it and light one each advent Sunday. Sometimes there’s a big candle in the middle that is lit on Christmas.”

“And what does it mean? And what is the meaning of the trees?”

“Well… that is a good question. Anyone know that?”

“Haven’t you studied history?”

“I did. But the history of Christmas trees was not covered in any of my lectures. I know that the advent wreath was a rather late Lutheran invention somewhere in the 19th century and was only really accepted by Catholics after the second World War. And the tree is a pagan tradition that carried over into Christianity and it was meant to symbolise the coming spring, I think it was kind of a reminder that the winter wouldn't last forever.”

“Didn’t you just say you don’t know?”

“that is her not knowing something.”

“Thanks Ally. Any more questions?”

“Yes, why did Major Lorne think it would be funny to hang this one plant in doorframes.”

“Oh, even I can answer that. Because it’s tradition that, if two people stand under a mistletoe, they have to kiss.”

John looked so proud of himself for knowing that, it was just adorable.

“That seems odd.”

“It is. And before you ask, there is a myth. You see, some people on Earth, the Norse, had several gods. And there was this one child of Frigga, the wife of the All-father Odin, and Baldur was loved by everyone and he was so very loved that his mother asked every plant, every animal even metal, rock and just everything to promise to never harm him. But she forgot one tiny, insignificant plant, the mistletoe. And when Loki, the trickster god, who was jealous of Baldur, learned that, he made a dart out of mistletoe and shot the god with it. Frigga was so heartbroken when Baldur died that she declared that from now on, Mistletoe would be a plant of love and that’s why people now kiss under it.”

Judging by the faces of her colleagues, the story Belle had just told had been new to them too.

“But I think you can sum this entire thing up with, it’s tradition and it’s fun, so we keep doing it, even if most of us don’t know where it came from.”

“And you decorate the tree together?”

“Yes, we do. but first we will bake Christmas cookies this Sunday.”

“I’m looking forward to it.”


	8. Chapter 8

It was spectacular. And messy. The mess was turned into a bakery for that day and there was almost no one who didn’t come on at least on of the two Sundays to bake some cookies or decorate them. And there were plenty of helpers on the second advent Sunday when Belle invited to tinker some decorations and put them on one of the trees. By the end of the day, all six trees were decorated all over with beautiful and creative ornaments, garlands hung in the mess and the Gateroom and Atlantis just felt like Christmas. A few days before Christmas, the Daedalus arrived, brining loads of food and even more presents and a crew just as exited as the people on Atlantis.

And then finally, it was Christmas Eve. Everyone had dressed nicely and had assembled in the mess hall. After some rearranging, they had actually managed to make enough room for everyone at one huge table snake. Plates and bowls of food were all over the tables. Elizabeth, who sat at the head of the tables, was currently the only one standing, about to give a little speech.

“Another interesting and special year here on Atlantis is almost over and we have found many new friends. We also lost some good people this year, who we miss dearly. But today is not a day to mourn, today we celebrate. This is the first Christmas this city has ever seen and that we owe to Dr Sullivan, who not only came up with the idea but planed it all. Respect for that.”

A wave of cheers followed that made Belle take the shade of poinsettia next to her.

“I want to take the opportunity to thank each and every one of you for the work you did and wish you all a merry Christmas.”

Weir raised her glass, and so did everyone else, wishing each other a merry Christmas. And then they began to eat. There was about everything one could imagine. Traditional dishes from all over the world. More than anyone could possibly try, though Ronon did his best.

“This was a brilliant idea, Belle.”

“I did tell you before, I am brilliant. And no matter how often you doubt it, it won’t change."

“I don’t. Not anymore at least. I improved, didn’t I?”

“Yes you did. And you were a great help organizing this. And you know what, John, we did good.”

Belle let her gaze wander over the content faces of her colleagues, smiling, laughing, chatting. Everyone was happy and everyone seemed to enjoy this dinner. Exactly that Belle had wished for today. This was what she loved most about Christmas. It was the perfect opportunity to make others happy.

After everyone had eaten more than they could or should have, the tables were pushed against the walls to create an open space, so that people could engage with each other. They had agreed on opening the presents Christmas Eve, because the traditions on that were so different and it had fitted with the party, so after diner, it was time to unwrap the presents. Belle had gotten a little something for her two lab partners, for her team, Weir and for Alicia. It wasn’t much, but all of them were happy, most of all Ronon and Teyla. Ronon had gotten a selection of all her favourite candy and Teyla had gotten a necklace from Ireland with the tree of life as pendant.

“This is beautiful, Belle. Thank you very much.”

“In my culture, this is called the tree of life and in the myths, it’s the tree that gave life to everything that lives. It’s sacred and magical.”

“I will wear it with honour.”

“I know you will.”

John, she had gotten a collection of movies she thought he might like, and though he really did like them, it was not nearly as great as his gift to her. On one of their missions, he had bought a necklace for her, with a blue stone pendants, but the stone wasn’t just blue, it looked like it had captured the stars in it. It was beyond beautiful. Belle didn’t even have words for it, so instead she hugged John, who answered that with a laugh. But deep down he was more than happy that she liked his gift.

Someone eventually decided that this was the perfect place to dance and soon several couples had gathered in front of the tree and were dancing to Christmas songs.

“Would you dance with me, Ronon?”

“I don’t know any of those dances.”

He looked a little surprised by her question, but he seemed to question his ability to dance even more.

“Don’t worry, I’ll show you how.”

Smiling, Belle held out her hand, and after a short hesitation, Ronon took it and allowed Belle to lead him to the dancefloor. John watched this with amusement, but himself declined several requests, saying he only danced when being forced to, he would only step on their toes. Which, of course, was a lie, but he just wasn’t in the mood to dance with anyone. Ronon eventually decided he now knew how to dance and asked Teyla to dance with him and Belle returned to the table John sat on. Rodney, too, was dancing, with his Katie.

“Why aren’t you dancing?”

“I had too much fun watching you. Did you really just teach Ronon how to dance?”

“I believe I did.”

“Successfully, apparently.”

“He didn’t step on my toes, so I’d call it a win.”

“Oh, that’s essential.”

Belle sat down next to him, taking a sip of her drink. Some Christmas punch, she hadn’t even bothered to ask what was in it. It was sweet and from what she could tell contained alcohol.

“You were right, you know.”

“Of course, I was.”

Belle grinned at John, who was looking at her with such a warm expression, it made her feel all fuzzy inside.

“About what?”

“About this. It’s the best Christmas I had in years. Thank you.”

Without thinking about it, Belle put her hand on his, squeezing it for a moment.

“You were a great help.”

“I just made lists and handed you thinks.”

“But you did that very well.”

John rolled his eyes mockingly, but he really appreciated her words. Still smiling warmly, he got to his feet and pulled her up with him.

“Dance with me.”

“Is that an order or a request?”

“A request with a little insistence.”

“Well, if that’s so, I’d love to dance with you.”

Belle followed John, who still held her hand in his, she put her hand on his shoulder and felt his hand warm on her back. They had been dancing for only a few minutes when Frank Sinatra’s voice filled the room, as he sang wonderfully deep, ‘I’ll be home for Christmas’.

“Oh, I love this song. It always makes me feel warm, and nostalgic and… I don’t know.”

“It’s beautiful song. That’s Sinatra singing it, isn’t it?”

“This song was written just for this voice.”

Fully enchanted by the sound of her favourite Christmas song, Belle closed her eyes and barely even noticed that John pulled her a little closer.

“ _Would you please have snow and mistletoes and presents under the tree for me, Christmas eve will find me, where the love light gleams. I’ll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams_.”

“I didn’t know you sang that beautifully.”

“Oh, I don’t. I just have to sing along to this one.”

“You really like it.”

“I do. I mean, it’s not Bon Jovi’s ‘Bed of Roses’ or ‘Thank you for loving me’, but it is one of the most beautiful love songs ever. And that voice. It just melts my heart like chocolate in the summer sun.”

“Isn’t that usually ice that melts in the sun?”

“Yes. But my heart is not made of ice. It’s made of chocolate.”

John tried to keep a straight face as he answered.

“Is it? Maybe we should consult Dr Becket about that. Having chocolate as a heart doesn’t sound very healthy.”

“It’s not a problem as long as nobody nibbles on it.”

“That would be very unfortunate.”

“It would indeed, I still need it.”

By now, John couldn’t hold the laughter back and Belle, too, chuckled.

“Why, what is your heart made of anyways?”

“Mine? Well, I always thought it was stone.”

“No. Your much to kind for that. Your heart is made of something soft and squishy. Like… marzipan. Your heart is made of marzipan.”

“Isn’t it a little inconvenient if our hearts are made of sweets?”

“You rather have broccoli as a heart?”

“Marzipan it is.”

They kept dancing for some more songs, but eventually joined their friends again. Laughing and chatting till long after midnight. When Belle finally left the party, the majority of people had already gone to beg. The remaining ones where mostly military. Apparently, scientists weren’t made to party all through the night. John had offered to walk Belle to her room, and she had accepted. But when they had reached the corridor, neither of them left. They just kept standing there, chatting and enjoying each other’s company. They were still standing in the hallway before her rooms when Lorne got off the elevator. He took one look at them and began grinning brightly.

“Hey boss.”

With the biggest grin she had ever seen at him, he nodded towards the sealing, before disappearing into his room with a last wink at them. They both turned their heads to whatever he had wanted them to see and Belle found her suspicion confirmed. Right above them hung a branch of mistletoe.

“Why do I think he hung it there because of exactly this? Sly little bastard.”

“I don’t think Frigga would come to haunt you if we just ignore it.”

“Maybe not. But we have enough enemies as it is already, don’t need a goddess to join that list.”

With that, he lowered his head, finally looking at her again, and kissed her. It was just a soft little kiss, but Belle could still feel his lips on hers after he had pulled back.

“Goodnight Belle.”

With a last warm smile, he turned around and left.


	9. Chapter 9

Belle just stared after him. She really hadn’t seen that coming. It wasn’t like she was mad at him. She was mostly confused. Why did he always manage to confuse her like this? She was no lovesick teenager! She wasn’t even in love with him. Taking a deep breath, Belle turned her back on the closed elevator door she had been staring at and went into her room. First sleep, then thinking about what had just happened, she decided. Sleep tended to put things into perspective. 

But the only thing the next day brought was the knowledge that this, whatever this was, was a bad idea and would best be ignored. And with that resolution, Belle returned to work. John didn’t lose a word about the kiss and so, after Christmas, things went on as usual. There was a small new year’s celebration, but nothing big.

Right now, Belle was siting in her lab. Though sitting might not be the most accurate description. It was late and Belle was fast asleep, her head resting on her desk. But Belle wasn’t the only one who wasn’t in her bed. John had been wandering through Atlantis for the last hour, and was now in the corridor where Belle’s lab was too. He hadn’t really paid attention to much, but he did notice the light in her lab and decided to see if she was still awake. Company would have been nice and so he was a little disappointed that she wasn’t, but when he saw her peaceful expression, he couldn’t help himself but smile. It sometimes was hard to believe that someone as touch and stubborn as Belle could look so sweet. For a moment, John considered just covering her with his jacket, but decided against it. If she’d spend all night like this, she would have a stiff neck tomorrow and he didn’t want that. Instead, he gently put a hand on her shoulder.

“Hey sleepyhead. Don’t you think your bed would be more comfortable?”

Astonished, Belle sat up, blinking at John with tired eyes.

“Uh, what?”

“You fell asleep.”

That made sense. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, Belle reached for her coffee cup, but it was empty. Probably better because cold coffee was disgusting.

“How long were you standing there before you woke me?”

“Just came in. Now c’mon, it’s late and you need sleep, obviously.”

“Looks like it.”

Shrugging her shoulders, Belle put her collected her notes, putting them in a folder, and shut down her laptop.

“What are you working on that late?”

“An idea McKay gave me at dinner. Didn’t realise how late it was, though.”

“McKay gave you an idea?!”

“Yeah… well, no. Technically, I wondered how I could possibly… most efficiently… you know… shut him up.”

John burst into laughter, he could absolutely understand that. He himself had wondered sometimes how to shut McKay up, he even had contemplated shooting him, when he had been especially annoying.

“Makes you wonder how many brilliant ideas Zelenka had thinking about killing Rodney.”

“Quite some.”

“So, what was yours?”

“I have a way, well right now I might have a theory on how to secure subspace communication, so that the wraith couldn’t intercept it anymore.”

“Wow! That’s big.”

“It would be if I got it to work. Which I haven’t.”

Belle just shrugged her shoulders again and got up. Together with John she left her lab.

“And why are you still up and around?”

“Oh, you know… I couldn’t sleep”

“Bad dreams?”

At first, John looked surprised, for a moment Belle thought he would deny it, but then he shrugged his shoulders in resignation.

“Yeah.”

They had stopped at a balcony door. Without saying anything, John went outside and Belle followed him.

“You want to tell me about it?”

John only hesitated for a heartbeat, then sighed deeply.

“I keep dreaming that the Wraith come and invade Atlantis, or the Replicators, or the Genii. Or… your father, that was a particularly weird one.”

He chuckled, but it didn’t sound amused at all. He turned to the railing, leaning on it and took a deep breath of the cold air.

“No matter who it is, the dreams always end the same. Everyone’s killed and I can do nothing about it. I just watch them all die… I fail to protect them.”

Even though John had turned his face away from her and it was dark, Belle could see how much this thoughts pained him and how much he feared those things coming true. Gently, she took his hand between hers.

“No wonder with all the dangers here. We’re in life-or-death situations every other week. I think there’s not one person on Atlantis who doesn’t have nightmares about the Wraith. I, for sure, do. You’re not alone, John, and you don’t have to be ashamed of being afraid.”

With another, this time slightly more amused, chuckle, John pulled Belle into a hug and held her tightly. Other than usually, John didn’t let go of Belle after a few seconds, he kept holding on to her. Drawing as much comfort from the hug as he could. When he finally let go he was visibly fluster.

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. We all need a hug sometimes.”

“Maybe. But you need sleep! Off we go. We both should be in our beds.”

That he was right about. Belle really needed sleep. And so, they said good night and went to their according rooms and fell into their beds like stones, sleeping tightly until their alarm clocks woke them the next morning.


End file.
